ARTICLE
4 minute read•Oct. 7, 2020
Relationships are like military missions in that they require strategy, foresight and effort. With life pulling you in different directions, it’s important to maintain your focus and know how to feed your relationship so it continues to thrive. Here are some tips, techniques and resources to help keep your relationship strong.
Relationship tips
- Work on communication skills. Strong relationships are built on effective communication. Make an effort to really listen to each other and share both positive and negative feelings to keep the environment honest and open. Some people use a phone call during the day to settle family business, so they’re free to enjoy time together when they get home. Stay connected by exploring new ways to expand and improve your communication skills.
- Do regular maintenance.Occasionally, take the pulse of your relationship to examine what’s working, what isn’t and what you both can do to strengthen your connection. Do you wish spending time together was a higher priority? Do you share the household work? Discuss the changes that will bring you into harmony and decide together on the compromises you’re willing to make.
- Adjust your expectations. Accept yourself, your spouse and your relationship as they exist today. It’s natural to want the honeymoon phase to last forever. But people and relationships change over time, and each new milestone brings different dynamics and routines.
- Create rituals.Routine and rituals can help hold a relationship together. A goodbye kiss before work, breakfast in bed with the crossword puzzle on weekends, weekly date nights or a walk after dinner are little things that, over time, become the glue in a healthy relationship.
- Plan dates and surprises for each other.Romance should be an ongoing part of your relationship, not just special occasions. Take turns planning dates or other surprises to keep your relationship exciting. You could rent some kayaks, get concert tickets for your partner’s favorite band, or turn your dining area into a fancy restaurant to wine and dine your partner when getting home from work. Be thoughtful in your plans and consider what your spouse enjoys.
- Plan for roadblocks.You won’t always agree on everything. Think about and discuss situations you know cause friction, and plan to treat one another with respect before a disagreement happens. Use “I” statements and keep your focus on the issue at hand. Get into the habit of looking for your spouse’s positive traits and showing appreciation.
- Give each other space.Your relationship will be stronger and more interesting if you give your spouse time and space without you. Remember, one person can’t possibly meet all your needs. Both you and your spouse must keep and nurture outside friendships and interests.
- Be active together.A couple that works out together stays together. Exercising with your partner is not only a fun way to get in shape, it helps you feel better about yourselves, which, in turn, strengthens your relationship.
- Know where to turn for help. Military OneSourcecan help provide you with resources and connect you with a confidential non-medical counselor. Additionally, military and family life counselors are available to provide non-medical counseling services. Contact information for other counseling options, such as chaplains and the Family Advocacy Program, can be found onMilitaryINSTALLATIONS.
No matter how you feel about the current state of your relationship, any marriage can become more satisfying if both of you are willing to work together. If the desire and commitment are there, then you and your spouse can keep your relationship fresh, strong and close. Commit to making the time to rekindle, repair or reset your relationship.
FAQs
Build connections every day. Simply talking and listening to your spouse is so important to a healthy relationship. Sharing feelings isn't always easy, but it is the foundation for lasting love. This free relationship resilience tool from Military OneSource can improve the quality and stability of your connection.
Does military OneSource help spouses? ›
Military OneSource provides comprehensive education and career guidance, support and resources to military spouses pursuing employment or an advanced degree.
Are military men faithful to their wives? ›
Studies have consistently shown that the rate of adultery among military personnel is higher compared to civilians, although accurate figures are difficult to determine. One study found that military personnel had approximately 10% higher rates of adultery.
How do you maintain a relationship with someone in the military? ›
Relationships and Deployment
- Stay connected. Talk about the importance of regular contact. ...
- Support back home. Before deployment, work together to establish a support network with your loved ones, both within the military and in your surrounding community. ...
- Trust. ...
- Understanding. ...
- Professional help.
Being a member of the military comes with many challenges for military couples. Frequently moving, sudden schedule changes, deployments, and stressful work tasks are just a few of the challenges military relationships must navigate.
What is the nickname for a military wife? ›
Spouses and children of service members are traditionally called dependents. Being called a “Dependa” implies the military spouse sits at home all day doing nothing while their service member sacrifices everything to keep them comfortable.
What military benefits does a wife get? ›
As the spouse or dependent child of a Veteran or service member, you may qualify for certain benefits, like health care, life insurance, or money to help pay for school or training.
What are the disadvantages of marrying a military man? ›
Frequent Moves and Deployments: Military life often involves frequent moves and long periods of separation due to deployments. This can put a strain on the relationship and require a great deal of patience and resilience.
What age do most military men get married? ›
According to a Department of Defense study, nearly half of active duty military personnel get married before they are 25 and two of three are married before the age of 30.
Can a military wife get in trouble for adultery? ›
If you are a U.S. military member, it can also lead to charges under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) Article 134. Adultery charges not only apply to a married service member but also to those who are single and have an affair with a married individual.
Under the Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act (USFSPA), the 10/10 rule governs the method of payment. At least ten years of marriage overlapping at least ten years of military service is needed for direct payment from the retired pay center, usually the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS).
How to handle a military boyfriend? ›
10 Tips for Keeping a Relationship Strong During Deployment and Separation
- Talk about your upcoming separation. ...
- Discuss how you will stay in touch. ...
- Establish mutual trust. ...
- Keep busy and stay active. ...
- If you have children, keep them occupied and on track. ...
- Supporting your children through the deployment cycle.
Here are some tips that can help you improve your communication skills and build a strong relationship:
- Make time to talk. ...
- Share your thoughts and feelings. ...
- Be an active listener. ...
- Show that you're listening. ...
- Offer frequent praise, support and encouragement. ...
- Strengthen your relationship through Love Every Day.
Experts say military kids often suffer from separation anxiety, depression, excessive worry, sleep problems, and other physical complaints both during deployments and after parents return home.
Why are military relationships so hard? ›
Frequent separations.
Deployments and temporary duty assignments mean that military members spend more time away from home than the average civilian. Missing important events like anniversaries and birthdays can be hard for both members of the couple.
What percentage of military relationships last? ›
According to LendingTree, the divorce rate among members of the U.S. military is almost twice the average national divorce rate. About 3.09% of military members who married and held military jobs in 2019 wound up divorcing that same year.
Does military insurance cover spouses? ›
If you're the spouse, surviving spouse, dependent child, or family caregiver of a Veteran or service member, you may qualify for health care benefits.
Do military spouses get free healthcare? ›
As the dependent of an active duty member, military spouses receive housing benefits and free health care at an MTF (Military Treatment Facility). There are also many scholarships and other forms of educational assistance available.
Can I use my husband's military discount? ›
One thing you should know is that not all military discounts are for military spouses, but many of them are. This can get a bit confusing. And sometimes this depends on who is giving you the discount on that day. Usually, they will state that they only give the discount to the service member in the fine print.
Do military spouses get free TRICARE? ›
When you marry an active duty or retired service member, you become entitled to military benefits, including TRICARE. Your sponsor must register you in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS).
