What to Know About Attention-Seeking Behavior in Adults (2024)

For adults, attention-seeking behavior is a conscious or unconscious attempt to become the center of attention, sometimes to gain validation or admiration. It may be driven by jealousy or loneliness.

Attention-seeking behavior can include saying or doing something with the goal of getting the attention of a person or a group of people.

Examples of this behavior include:

  • fishing for compliments by pointing out achievements and seeking validation
  • being controversial to provoke a reaction
  • exaggerating and embellishing stories to gain praise or sympathy
  • pretending to be unable to do something so someone will teach, help, or watch the attempt to do it

Attention-seeking behavior may be driven by:

  • jealousy
  • low self-esteem
  • loneliness

Sometimes attention-seeking behavior is the result of cluster B personality disorders, such as:

Jealousy

Jealousy may come about when someone feels threatened by another person currently getting all the attention.

This, in turn, can lead to attention-seeking behavior to change the focus.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem is a broad term covering a variety of complex mental states involving how you view yourself.

When some people believe that they’re being overlooked, bringing back the lost attention is may feel like the only way to restore their balance.

The attention that they get from this behavior may help provide them with the feeling of reassurance that they are worthy.

Loneliness

According to the Health Resources and Services Administration, 1 in 5 Americans say they feel lonely or socially isolated.

Loneliness can result in an urge to seek attention, even in people who don’t normally exhibit attention-seeking behavior.

Histrionic personality disorder

According to the National Library of Medicine, histrionic personality disorder is characterized by feeling underappreciated when not the center of attention.

For someone to receive a diagnosis of histrionic personality disorder, they need to meet at least 5 of the following criteria:

  • uncomfortable when not the center of attention
  • provocative or seductive behavior
  • shallow and shifting emotions
  • using appearance to draw attention
  • vague or impressionistic speech
  • exaggerated or dramatic emotions
  • is suggestible
  • treating relationships as more intimate than they are

Borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder is a continuing pattern of instability in self-image, interpersonal relationships, emotion, and impulsivity.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, for someone to receive a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, they need to display at least 5 of the following criteria:

  • frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  • a pattern of intense and unstable interpersonal relationships with extremes between devaluation and idealization
  • a decidedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
  • engaging in potentially self-damaging, impulsive behavior
  • recurring self-harm or suicidal behavior, including threats or gestures
  • emotionally instability in daily reactions, such as through irritability, anxiety, or intense sadness
  • chronic feelings of emptiness
  • inappropriately intense anger that’s often difficult to control
  • transient, stress-related paranoia or disassociation

Narcissistic personality disorder

Those with narcissistic personality disorder typically have a need for admiration with a lack of empathy.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, for someone to receive a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, they need to display at least 5 of the following criteria:

  • a grandiose sense of self-importance
  • a preoccupation with fantasies of power, unlimited success, brilliance, ideal love, beauty
  • a belief in their own uniqueness, especially that they should only associate with, and will only be understood by, high-status institutions and high-status people
  • demand for excessive admiration
  • a sense of entitlement and unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations
  • taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends
  • unwillingness to identify with or recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • envy of others and belief that others are envious of them
  • haughty, arrogant attitudes or behaviors

If you notice this behavior is constantly recurring, it’s probably best for the person display the behavior to visit an experienced mental health professional.

If left unchecked, attention-seeking behavior can often become manipulative or otherwise harmful.

Attention-seeking behavior may stem from jealousy, low self-esteem, loneliness, or as a result of a personality disorder.

If you notice this behavior in you or someone else, a mental health professional can provide diagnosis and treatment options.

What to Know About Attention-Seeking Behavior in Adults (2024)

FAQs

How to deal with attention-seeking behaviour in adults? ›

Setting clear boundaries when they exhibit attention-seeking behaviors can help them realize they are behaving inappropriately. Communicate with them: Sometimes, a person seeking attention might not know they are acting in a way that draws attention. Take them aside and gently communicate any issues you're noticing.

What personality disorders cause attention-seeking behavior? ›

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of attention-seeking behaviors and a theatrical level of emotional reactions. The condition is usually life-long, though onset is typically in late adolescence or early adulthood.

What type of personality is an attention seeker? ›

The word “histrionic” means “dramatic or theatrical.” For people with histrionic personality disorder, their self-esteem depends on the approval of others and doesn't come from a true feeling of self-worth. They have an overwhelming desire to be noticed and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention.

How do you respond to attention-seeking behavior? ›

Remove the positive reinforcement for attention-seeking behavior. As hard as it may be, do not engage when drama is initiated. Try to stay emotionally neutral and pay attention to your own mind so that you won't become triggered.

How to outsmart an attention seeker? ›

Ignoring the behavior is the best way to show that it won't get any attention from you. Don't look at the attention seeker or ask them to stop. Just simply pretend as though they aren't doing it. Many attention seekers enjoy negative as well as positive attention.

Is attention-seeking a mental disorder? ›

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is a type of personality disorder that shows a pattern of attention-seeking behaviours, seductive behaviour and emotional over-reaction.

Is attention-seeking a narcissistic trait? ›

An attention seeker may have a personality disorder, such as histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. However, attention-seeking behavior can also be associated with other causes including poor self-esteem, narcissism, and loneliness.

What are the 7 traits of avoidant personality disorder? ›

The classic symptoms associated with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) include social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, hypersensitivity to negative feedback and evaluation, fear of rejection, avoidance of any activities that require substantial personal interaction, and reluctance to take risks or get involved in ...

How to spot an attention seeker? ›

What it may look like
  1. fishing for compliments by pointing out achievements and seeking validation.
  2. being controversial to provoke a reaction.
  3. exaggerating and embellishing stories to gain praise or sympathy.
  4. pretending to be unable to do something so someone will teach, help, or watch the attempt to do it.
Feb 28, 2020

What creates an attention seeker? ›

Causes. The causes of attention seeking behavior are varied. Risk factors leading to attention seeking behavior include loneliness, jealousy, low self-esteem, narcissism, rejection, and self-pity. A desire for validation is theorised as a motivation for attention seeking behavior.

Why do people become attention seekers? ›

In adults, attention-seeking tendencies are often linked to low self-esteem and loneliness. For many, attention-seeking behaviors are a way to find connections with others that may not be present in their daily life. Most humans need attention from others to support their overall well-being.

What attachment style is attention-seeking? ›

Here are some key insights about children with the insecure ambivalent attachment style: they often physically cling on to their parents. they find it hard to concentrate on academic tasks. they engage in persistent attention-seeking behaviour.

Do you ignore attention-seeking behavior? ›

These misbehaviors are often done for attention. If parents, friends, family, or other caregivers consistently ignore these behaviors, they will eventually stop. Your child may also misbehave in ways that are not meant for attention and put him in danger. Dangerous and destructive behaviors should not be ignored.

What is an example of attention behavior? ›

The goal of attention-seeking behavior is to gain the attention of a nearby adult or another child. For example, a child might whine in order to get attention from their parents. They may also engage in certain behaviors to get others to laugh with them or play with them, or they may just want people to look at them.

What do you call someone who always wants attention? ›

Histrionic Personality Disorder. This is part of the group of “Cluster B” or “dramatic” personality disorders, of which attention seeking behaviour is a common sign.

Why do adults have attention-seeking behavior? ›

Attention-seeking behavior can emerge for several reasons. You may struggle to maintain self-esteem or self-worth. You may be deprived of social contact; those who experience excessive loneliness are more likely to exhibit attention-seeking behavior.

Is attention-seeking ADHD? ›

Attention-seeking behavior is a symptom of ADHD. It's often the first clue for parents that their child might have this condition. You may have heard comments from friends and family members.

Is there a cure for attention-seeking? ›

Psychotherapy may help a person better understand their condition and symptoms, understand the effect of their behaviors, and learn coping strategies. If a trauma, abuse, or bereavement is leading to attention-seeking behavior, working with a mental health specialist may help.

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