The desire for a healthy, passionate relationship is part of the human experience. Connection is one of the ten gifts of life: the gifts that give our lives purpose and meaning. It’s also one of the Six Human Needs, which drive every decision we make. Connection is vital to life – and that’s what can make it so hard to know when to leave a relationship.
Even when we recognize the signs to leave a relationship, it can still be difficult to work up the courage to give up your sense of connection, significance and certainty. You’ll need to dig deep and focus on yourself, your decisions and your ultimate happiness. That’s what’s most important in life.
How to know when to leave a relationship
It isn’t always clear when to leave a relationship. How do you know if your partnership can be fixed, or is beyond repair? Of course, emotional and physical abuse are always signs to leave a relationship. But if you’re not sure, the signs may be more subtle.
You no longer communicate
Communication is crucial in every relationship, but especially romantic ones. Communication problems are one of the top three causes of marriage failure in America. If you’re constantly fighting and seem unable to resolve conflict, that could be a sign of when to leave a relationship. While you can learn how to avoid arguments, you may not be able to fix deeper problems that a lack of communication indicates.
You don’t feel valued
Relationships are places that we go to give, not places that we go to take. If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn’t respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.
The passion is gone
Tony teaches that there are Six Stages of a Relationship. Number one is a passionate, intimate and electric connection. That connection is a result of your polarity with your partner. If you’re not feeling that anymore – and you don’t have the desire to fix the situation – that’s one of the biggest signs to leave a relationship. But if you do want to regain your polarity, don’t give up yet. It’s often possible to reignite the passion.
You don’t want to fix it
The key to how to know when to leave a relationship is your desire to fix it: if you’re willing to put in the work, it’s possible to create a fulfilling relationship. But if you’re planning your escape, which is stage four of the Six Stages of a Relationship, it’s time to move on. If you’re contemplating life without your partner, you’re past the point of wanting – or being able – to fix the relationship. Find the courage to leave.
Finding the courage to leave a bad relationship
Even when you’re able to evaluate your situation and discover how to know when to leave a relationship, it can still be difficult to act. Ultimately finding the courage to leave a relationship is about making a decision and turning “shoulds” into “musts.” When you turn “I should leave this relationship” into “I must leave this relationship because I’m certain it’s the right decision,” you’ll reveal your inner strength and be able to leave once and for all.
Still not sure how to know when to leave a relationship?
Finding the right support system is essential to leaving a relationship. Sign up for a free 30-minute session with a Tony Robbins Results Coach to learn how they can help.
FAQs
Knowing when to call it quits in a relationship is tough. Here's the deal – if you're always feeling miserable, can't talk without arguing, have totally different life goals, or deal with any kind of abuse, it's time to seriously think about ending it.
When to break up with someone you love? ›
It's when you can't stop thinking about being apart that you should worry. Being with someone shouldn't be a continuous struggle of hoping for the other person to change. If you can't imagine growing older with them as they are right now, it's probably time to throw in the towel.
How do you know when a relationship is over? ›
Some key signs your relationship may be beyond repair include: a lack of physical intimacy. issues with problem-solving. feeling lonely in the same room.
When to call it quits in a relationship? ›
If your partner invalidates your feelings and makes you question the world around you, you might want to consider leaving the relationship. If your partner abuses you in any way, emotional or physical, or cuts you off from the people you're close to, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
How do you know when a relationship has run its course? ›
If you're noticing yourself feeling really distant from your partner and you have fewer and fewer things in common with them, and perhaps you're just feeling disinterested or just numb or neutral towards the relationship, this is a sign that something needs to change.
At what point should you let a relationship go? ›
You have an overwhelming, overall gut feeling that this relationship isn't working; you feel negatively often. You cry, complain or feel anxious about some aspect of the relationship or your partner multiple times a week. You don't enjoy spending time with your partner or need alone time more than usual.
When to walk away from a relationship? ›
Some signs your relationship is unhealthy could include hostility, isolation, manipulation, or one person attempting to track or control another. In unhealthy dynamics, one partner may blame you when things go wrong and negatively impact your well-being.
What is considered a red flag in a relationship? ›
What is a relationship red flag? Jennifer Klesman, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist in Chicago, defines a red flag as a behavior trait or value that shows your future incompatibility with a person. This can be anything from someone having a history of infidelity to conflicting lifestyles and beyond.
When to initiate a breakup? ›
Simply wanting to leave a relationship is enough of a reason to break up. The most important part of being in a relationship is wanting to be in that relationship. If you no longer feel that way, it's healthier to break up.
How to tell if a relationship is worth saving? ›
When two people have at least a few common interests—hobbies and activities they can enjoy together—it's a strong indicator of a relationship worth saving. This is especially true if those interests involve an important area of life for one or (preferably) both people.
They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
How to tell if a relationship is failing? ›
It may be hard to accept, but when you notice some signs like abuse, lack of trust, lack of communication, and disrespect, it may be signs your relationship is failing, and it is time to call it off. Even when you try your best to put the relationship together, the damage may be too severe.
When should you let a relationship go? ›
You have an overwhelming, overall gut feeling that this relationship isn't working; you feel negatively often. You cry, complain or feel anxious about some aspect of the relationship or your partner multiple times a week. You don't enjoy spending time with your partner or need alone time more than usual.
How do you know if you are unfulfilled in a relationship? ›
Spending time apart in a relationship is healthy. It's important to have your own interests, hobbies, and social circles. But when a woman starts spending significantly more time away from her partner, it could be a sign of unfulfillment. This could mean spending more time at work, with friends, or even by herself.
