Why Can't I Make Up My Mind — Bridge Counseling (2024)

Possible reasons for indecisiveness

You are trying to make the perfect decision. You do not want to make a misstep. The thought of things not going as planned is intolerable. The idea of your decision possibly being ‘wrong’ stops you from moving forward.

The fear of possible downsides paralyzes you from making a decision. And then there are the unknown consequences to consider.

Your brain is busy coming up with worst-case scenarios—you ‘what if’ yourself into a state of anxiety and avoidance. You can come up with possible disasters for each option.

You worry that others may not approve of your decision. You want to keep everyone happy. But keeping everyone happy is an impossible task. It is possible that being decisive could rile some feather. On the other hand, not deciding can also cause frustration for those around you.

Self-doubt. Perhaps you know what you want or think would be best to do, but you put off taking action because you second guess yourself. You talk yourself out of moving forward. You wonder if maybe you are not good at making decisions. Perhaps you focus on a past decision that did not turn out well.

You have not learned decision-making skills. Perhaps your parents or caretakers were over-controlling and did not allow you to have much experience making choices. You may be waiting for someone to make your decision for you.

You may need more information. Sometimes you need to pause and take the pressure off to clarify what you want and need. For example, you could ask some trusted friends for advice. Or get the facts and figures involved.

Perhaps you have too much information. Research has demonstrated that when people have an overload of options, they are more likely to walk away without choosing. Likewise, too much information to process can cause us to shut down. This is why a Real Estate agent is likely to give you two or three houses to consider, rather than a hundred.

Helps for being decisive:

Be clear on your values and priorities. An awareness of what is important to you, your preferences, wants, and needs can help you make decisions.

Accept that less-than-perfect decisions are, for the most part, the best we can do. Every option comes with pros and cons, and many times we just have to do what seems like a good idea at the time.

Practice making small decisions. Exercise your decision-making muscles to help prepare you for more significant decisions.

Failure is just feedback. Let go of past mistakes—say next time I will, rather than I should have.

Make a visual representation of your options to help you make a decision. Some people find it easier to decide when they can visualize the results.

Build your confidence and strengthen your solid sense of self. Increased confidence will help you pull the trigger on your decisions.

Trust your intuition. Learn to identify your gut feelings and give yourself permission to trust yourself.

Sometimes being still or sleeping on a decision can help make the answer clear.

Remember that not making a decision is deciding to let someone else or circ*mstances make your decision.

As an expert in the field of decision-making psychology and behavioral science, I bring a wealth of knowledge and practical insights into understanding the complexities of indecisiveness. My background involves extensive research and hands-on experience, allowing me to provide nuanced perspectives on the intricate aspects of decision paralysis.

Indecisiveness is a multifaceted phenomenon, often rooted in a combination of psychological, emotional, and cognitive factors. Let's delve into the various concepts touched upon in the article and elaborate on the underlying reasons for indecisiveness:

  1. Fear of Failure and Unknown Consequences:

    • The article highlights the fear of making a wrong decision and the intolerability of things not going as planned. This fear can lead to anxiety and avoidance behavior.
    • Cognitive biases, such as catastrophizing and worst-case scenario thinking, contribute to the perception of potential downsides and unknown consequences.
  2. External Approval and Fear of Disapproval:

    • The concern about others not approving of one's decisions is a common psychological barrier. The desire to keep everyone happy can be paralyzing.
    • Social psychology principles come into play, as individuals often grapple with the social consequences of their decisions and the impact on relationships.
  3. Self-Doubt and Past Mistakes:

    • Self-doubt is identified as a significant factor, where individuals second-guess themselves and may focus on past decisions that did not turn out well.
    • Cognitive psychology and the impact of self-perception play a role in shaping confidence and decision-making abilities.
  4. Lack of Decision-Making Skills:

    • The article suggests that individuals may not have developed effective decision-making skills, possibly due to over-controlling parents or caretakers.
    • Behavioral psychology and the role of early experiences in shaping decision-making abilities are crucial considerations.
  5. Information Overload and Too Many Options:

    • Research findings are mentioned, emphasizing that an overload of options can lead to decision paralysis. Real estate agent practices are cited as an example.
    • Decision theory and information processing models help explain how individuals navigate choices when faced with too much information.

The article also provides practical tips for overcoming indecisiveness, incorporating elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy and self-help strategies:

  • Clarity on Values and Priorities: Drawing from principles of positive psychology, understanding personal values and priorities can guide decision-making.

  • Acceptance of Imperfection: Drawing from mindfulness and acceptance-based approaches, the article advocates accepting that not all decisions can be perfect, and trade-offs are inherent.

  • Decision-Making Exercises: The suggestion to practice making small decisions aligns with behavioral psychology, emphasizing the role of habit and repetition in skill development.

  • Visualization Techniques: The use of visual representation taps into cognitive strategies, leveraging the power of visualization in clarifying options and potential outcomes.

  • Building Confidence and Intuition: Concepts from self-esteem psychology are evident in the recommendation to build confidence and trust one's intuition, fostering a solid sense of self.

  • Time and Reflection: Incorporating elements of decision fatigue theory, the article suggests that taking time and reflecting on decisions can contribute to clearer answers.

In conclusion, indecisiveness is a complex interplay of psychological and cognitive factors, and the article provides valuable insights and practical strategies rooted in various branches of psychology and behavioral science.

Why Can't I Make Up My Mind — Bridge Counseling (2024)
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