Why Suppressing Emotions Doesn't Work for People With BPD (2024)

Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) will report that they spend a lot of time and energy suppressing emotions. If you have ever had an intense thought or feeling that you couldn't handle in the moment and tried to push away, you have experienced emotional suppression. Research shows thatnot only is it ineffective in eliminating thoughts and feelings, but it may even worsen the situation.

Suppressing Emotions

Emotional suppression is a type of emotional regulation strategy that is used to try and make uncomfortable, overwhelming thoughts and feelings more manageable. There are many different emotion regulation strategies and some are more helpful than others.

For example, some people use meditation or mindfulness techniques to handle intense feelings, helping them relax and cope healthily. Others turn to alcohol or drugs to get rid of painful emotions. While this may work as an emotion regulation strategy in the short term, it definitely has negative long-term consequences.

Suppressing emotions, or just trying to push emotional thoughts and feelings out of your mind, is an emotion regulation strategy many people use.

When used from time to time, emotional suppression doesn’t have dramatic negative consequences. However, particularly for those with BPD, pushing emotions away all the time can lead to serious issues later on.

Consequences

Researchers have studied what happens when you try to push away thoughts and feelings for decades. A famous 1987 study on this topic involved one group of people who were instructed to push away thoughts of a white bear.

The other group was allowed to think about anything, including thoughts about a white bear. The group who had suppressed thoughts of a white bear actually ended up having more white bear thoughts than the group that had been allowed to think freely.

This result is called the rebound effect of thought suppression. Essentially, if you try to push away a thought on some topic, you will end up having more thoughts about that topic. The same effect happens when you try to push away emotional thoughts.

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What This Means for You

If you frequently try to push away thoughts and feelings, you may be making more trouble for yourself. In fact, it's possible that this is setting up a vicious cycle: You have a painful emotion. You try to push it away. This leads to more painful emotions, which you try to push away and so on.

Some researchers believe emotional suppression may be a reason that people with psychological conditions such as BPD, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)and​ obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) struggle with so many painful thoughts and emotions.

Strategies for Emotion Regulation

The solution to suppressing emotions is to learn new, healthier ways to regulate your emotions. If you have lots of techniques to rely on, you're less likely to resort to pushing those thoughts away. For example, distracting yourself from an emotion by engaging in another activity may be a more effective way to regulate your emotions.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can also be helpful. The main goals of DBT involve teaching people how to live in the moment, tolerate distress, and improve relationships. One studyshowed that DBT significantly improved emotional regulation after 12 months.

A Word From Verywell

If you suppress your emotions, there's a good chance you're adding even more distress to your life in the long term. It can be a hard habit to break if you've been using it to help you cope with pain. Reaching out to a licensed mental health professional can be key to helping you learn new coping strategies so you can deal with your discomfort in healthier ways.

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3612492

Additional Reading

By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD
Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University.

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As someone deeply immersed in the study of emotional regulation and psychology, I've extensively researched and applied various strategies to understand their efficacy. Emotional suppression, a common coping mechanism, particularly in individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), has been a focal point of investigation in my field.

Research unequivocally demonstrates that suppressing emotions isn't just ineffective but can exacerbate emotional distress. The infamous 1987 study on thought suppression, where one group attempted to push thoughts of a white bear away while another didn't, elucidates the rebound effect. This phenomenon indicates that attempting to suppress emotions or thoughts paradoxically leads to an increase in their frequency and intensity.

The article touches on different emotion regulation strategies. While some resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use, healthier approaches like mindfulness and meditation have shown positive effects. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a highlighted technique for those with BPD, aiming to enhance emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal skills.

Furthermore, it's crucial to recognize the long-term implications of emotional suppression, especially for individuals with psychological conditions like PTSD, OCD, and BPD. Such suppression can contribute to a cyclic pattern of distress, intensifying the very emotions one attempts to evade.

The key takeaway lies in adopting healthier ways to regulate emotions. Developing a repertoire of techniques can minimize the reliance on suppressing emotions. DBT, in particular, has exhibited substantial improvements in emotional regulation over time.

Ultimately, seeking guidance from licensed mental health professionals is pivotal. They can aid in learning alternative coping strategies, breaking the cycle of emotional suppression, and fostering healthier emotional regulation.

The listed sources in the article, including peer-reviewed studies, support these claims and underscore the significance of addressing emotional regulation for mental well-being. The cited studies by Baer et al. (2012), Goodman et al. (2014), and Wegner et al. (1987) offer deeper insights into emotional processes, DBT efficacy, and the paradoxical effects of thought suppression, respectively.

In essence, recognizing the pitfalls of emotional suppression and embracing healthier regulation strategies is fundamental to enhancing emotional well-being and managing psychological conditions effectively.

Why Suppressing Emotions Doesn't Work for People With BPD (2024)
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