What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
The National Institute on Mental Health describes borderline personality disorder as a pattern of variation in mood, self-image, and behaviors. Because of the way that a person living with this disorder experiences these symptoms, it can lead to difficulties in managing impulsive urges and healthily maintaining relationships.
What Are the Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
If you are curious whether you or your loved one is living with borderline personality disorder, the Mayo Clinic provides the following symptoms to watch for:
- Heightened fears of abandonment, rational or imagined, that may drive the person to take extreme measures to alleviate these feelings
- Repeated difficulties in maintaining relationships marked by conflicting instances of intensity, apathy, or resentment
- Shifting self-identity and image that could include altering goals, values, and perception of self
- Brief instances of stress-induced feelings of paranoia
- Impulsive and potentially dangerous activities like reckless spending, gambling, substance abuse, etc.
- Suicidal threats, behavior, and attempts at self-injury, which are often triggered by fears of abandonment or rejection
- Intense mood swings that can cover a broad spectrum of feelings and emotions
- Repeated feelings of emptiness
- Unjustified or inexplicable moments of anger with no real identifiable trigger
If you or someone you suspect of having borderline personality disorder reports suicidal thoughts or engages in self-harm, please take lifesaving actions, such as calling 911, calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255, contacting your doctor, or reaching out to a friend or loved one closer to that person’s place of residence.
The Borderline Personality Disorder Relationship Cycle
The borderline personality disorder relationship cycle is typically defined as a series of six stages with no definitive timeline. These include the following:
Stage 1:
The person living with borderline personality disorder will often idealize the person with whom they have formed a new relationship. This could mean that they view you as their new best friend, their future spouse if in a romantic context, etc.
During this period, the person will engage intensely with the other individual. This could include requesting more of your time be spent with them and acting completely invested.
Stage 2:
Over time, idealization and infatuation will begin to wane. As the relationship matures, the person may start to express anxiety or a fear of rejection. This could indicate hypersensitive or irritable responses to actions they perceive as negative, such as asking to postpone a social engagement or not returning a call or text in a timely manner.
Stage 3:
Once the person living with borderline personality disorder has begun to form suspicions that the other person may be looking to end a relationship, they may begin to “test” that individual in various ways. The other person often may not even be aware that they are being tested.
Stage 4:
If the person experiencing borderline personality disorder symptoms feels insecure about a relationship, they may attempt to distance themselves from the other person. They could continually ask for reassurances that you wish to maintain your friendship or romantic partnership with them.
Stage 5:
If the person living with borderline personality disorder does not feel that they have achieved their desired security in their relationship with the other person, they may attempt to end the relationship. However, if the other person accepts the dissolution of their relationship, the person experiencing borderline personality disorder may try to save the bond rather than risk actually losing that person in their life.
Stage 6:
If the person living with borderline personality disorder does end a relationship with the other person, they may experience periods of volatile and negative self-thoughts. This could potentially lead to life-threatening actions like self-harm and suicidal actions. Conversely, they may make future attempts to try to “restart” the relationship and attempt to connect once again.
Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder
As stated by the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, the following are among the most common treatments used:
- Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) – a therapeutic approach that uses mindfulness, emotional regulation, and impulse control to help someone achieve balance.
- Mentalization-based therapy (MBT) – Talk therapy that emphaszies learning to better understand the thoughts and feelings of others.
- Transference-focused therapy (TFFP) – Help people better comprehend emotions and interpersonal conflict
- Psychiatric management – Helping people with borderline personality develop a coping “tool kit”
- Medication
- Self-care
Get Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder in South Florida
Whether you are seeking treatment for yourself or your loved one, help is available. Our team at Compassion Behavioral Health provides comprehensive mental health treatment from our facility in beautiful South Florida.
To learn more, contact us online today or call us at (844) 999-0874 for more information.
FAQs
A BPD relationship cycle often consists of some emotional highs and lows that may leave you confused and frustrated. You might also see your partner experience unexpected bouts of anger, anxiety, or depression. They may love you and then suddenly reject you or get upset.
What are the 4 stages of borderline personality disorder? ›
There are four widely accepted types of borderline personality disorder (BPD): discouraged, impulsive, petulant, and self-destructive BPD. You can suffer more than one kind of BPD simultaneously or at different stages in your life. Similarly, it is also possible for your condition not to fit any of these types of BPD.
What is compassion focused therapy for borderline personality disorder? ›
CFT is aimed at people who find experiences of soothing positive affect difficult or frightening. This may particularly suit clients diagnosed with personality disorders whose threat system seems over-activated (e.g. anxiety, sadness, guilt, anger, shame) and whose soothing system seems poorly accessible.
What is the relationship pattern in BPD? ›
Interpersonal hypersensitivity is a central feature of BPD. The relationship patterns of individuals with BPD were intense but unstable, shifting between two extremes of idealization and devaluation and involving both needs for intimacy and fears of rejection [7].
What is the push pull relationship in BPD? ›
A distinctive characteristic of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the pattern of unstable relationships, marked by a "push-pull" dynamic, where the person with BPD alternates between idealizing their partners and pushing them away.
What are the 3 C's of BPD? ›
However, it is important that you do not make ultimatums that you cannot carry out and it is vital that you are not tolerant of ongoing abusive behaviour. Remember the 3 C's: I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it. If you are experiencing abuse it is important that you seek extra support.
What does high functioning BPD look like? ›
People with high-functioning BPD experience frequent negative thoughts, fear of rejection, and regret about expressing their feelings. Individuals with quiet BPD may oscillate between clinging to people around them in need of validation and them pushing them away to avoid criticism.
What does a BPD meltdown look like? ›
BPD Meltdown
These episodes involve intense emotional reactions that can be triggered by stress, rejection, or perceived abandonment. During a meltdown, people may experience extreme mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty calming down.
What does BPD look like to an outsider? ›
Very often misunderstood and wrongly represented, people suffering with the condition tend to lead isolated lives coupled with crippling emotions and intense relationships. Self-mutilation and suicide attempts are frequent symptoms, which receive a label of 'attention seeking' from outsiders.
What is the most promising treatment for borderline personality disorder? ›
Best therapy for BPD
- Mentalization-based therapy (MBT) ...
- Schema therapy (ST) ...
- Transference-focused therapy (TFP) ...
- Systems training for emotional predictability and problem-solving (STEPPS) ...
- Create a self-care box. ...
- Keep a mood journal. ...
- Involve your loved ones. ...
- Medication management.
Starting out with compassion, a gentle approach to language, and avoiding blame and defensiveness will help with detachment and saying no. Learn why saying no to someone with borderline personality disorder is difficult. It may also provide modeling of healthy interpersonal effectiveness.
Do borderlines know they hurt you? ›
Most borderlines, until and unless they have substantial and successful therapy are not consciously aware of what I am describing here. Some are totally oblivious to their behavior. Some see their behavior as a means to an end and take little to no responsibility for it or any of its consequences.
How do you break a BPD relationship cycle? ›
Navigating the Breakup Cycle
Professional help, such as psychotherapy, is crucial for managing BPD and its impact on relationships. Therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can provide strategies for managing emotions and improving relationship skills.
What kind of partners do BPD attract? ›
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
How long do BPD relationships usually last? ›
The average length of bpd relationship is known to be 7 to 8 years; however, the stability of a partner may make the relationship long-term. Also, it is possible to develop trauma from dating someone with bpd and you may be aware of 4 types of bpd.
How long do people with BPD last in relationships? ›
Some people have relationships that just last a few weeks or months, while other people living with BPD have relationships that last years or even decades, though, the relationship may have cycled through periods of breaking up and getting back together.
What is the BPD favorite person cycle? ›
In this type of BPD relationship, a favorite person is relied on for comfort, happiness, and validation. The relationship with a BPD favorite person may start healthy, but it can often turn into a toxic love-hate cycle known as idealization and devaluation.
What happens when 2 borderlines meet? ›
BPD relationships tend to be unstable, and researchers have found that relationships with one or two BPD partners are characterized by higher conflict and more negativity. Specific concerns may include fears of abandonment, black-and-white thinking, mood swings, suicidality, and sensitivity.
