How to Help Someone With BPD: 7 Ways — Talkspace (2024)

FAQs

What are some coping skills for BPD? ›

Validate Their Feelings

It can be tempting to try to talk them out of what they are feeling or write them off as simply irrational. However, those feelings are very real to the person with the disorder. Therefore, dismissing their emotions is not only profoundly painful, it is counterproductive.

Borderline personality disorder is mainly treated using psychotherapy, but medication may be added. Your doctor also may recommend hospitalization if your safety is at risk. Treatment can help you learn skills to manage and cope with your condition.

Tell them that you really want to understand, and ask if they can say more about what they are feeling and why. Give the person hope for recovery by reassuring them that people with BPD can and do get better. Accept that the person is struggling and that life goals might need to be broken down into smaller steps.

Listening to your loved one and acknowledging their feelings is one of the best ways to help someone with BPD calm down. When you appreciate how a borderline person hears you and adjust how you communicate with them, you can help diffuse the attacks and rages and build a stronger, closer relationship.

People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

What is the root of borderline personality disorder? ›

being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child. being neglected by 1 or both parents. growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem.

Childhood abuse and trauma: Up to 70% of people with BPD have experienced sexual, emotional or physical abuse as a child. Maternal separation, poor maternal attachment, inappropriate family boundaries and parental substance use disorder are also associated with BPD.

But with some individuals with BPD, you don't want to get into the habit of allowing certain things such as calls after hours, visits to your home without announcing it, borrowing your things and never returning them, driving your car and keeping it longer than they should, etc.

Lashing out in anger, a hallmark of BPD, often stems from one basic yet intense and overriding fear — the fear of being alone. People with borderline personality disorder often go into a panic or rage when they feel that they are being abandoned or are left alone, whether that abandonment is real or imagined.

They typically endure frequent intense negative emotions and are unable to manage these strong feelings. This emotional rollercoaster can distort how they interpret the world around them. As such, someone with BPD can be easily angered and act viciously when confronted with something they view as “threatening”.

Therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), can be very effective for those who have BPD or love someone with BPD. DBT is a popular modality for treating BPD. This approach helps identify specific emotional issues and view them from different perspectives.

Intense and sometimes inappropriate rage is a characteristic of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A person with this condition has difficulty regulating their emotions or returning to their baseline. Extremes of rage and other intense emotions may last longer than might be expected, from a few hours to a few days.

What to do in a BPD crisis? ›

When a person with borderline personality disorder presents during a crisis, consult the crisis plan and: maintain a calm and non-threatening attitude. try to understand the crisis from the person's point of view. explore the person's reasons for distress.

Gaslighting is by no means unique to individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but certain symptoms make it more likely for people with BPD to feel gaslighted by others and create circ*mstances where others feel gaslighted by them. Gaps in memory result from dissociation.

Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.

This subtype is often hard to spot. If you have quiet BPD, you direct moods and behaviors inward, so other people don't see. Your emotions and behaviors may feel like a roller coaster with many ups and downs. You may have difficulty in your relationships due to fear of abandonment.

As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. The self-loathing can drive you to isolate yourself for days and weeks.

BPD features are highly represented in subjects with psychopathy as well as psychopathic traits are highly prevalent in patients with BPD.

The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.

Borderline personality (BPD) is characterized by hostile behavior, negative affect, hypersensitivity to others, anger, worry, and fear of rejection or abandonment. These traits can make life difficult for people with BPD, causing them to react in ways that may be considered socially unacceptable.

What is borderline personality now called? ›

Explains borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). Includes what it feels like, causes, treatment, support and self-care, as well as tips for friends and family.

Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to regulate their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.

People who suffer from BPD show erratic mood-swings and find it difficult to trust and understand the motives of others. As a result, they suffer from fraught personal relationships with friends, colleagues and partners.

MRI studies have demonstrated that people with BPD have reduced volume in the frontal lobe, bilateral hippocampus, bilateral amygdala (a reduced volume that has not always been replicated in MRI studies), left orbitofrontal cortex, right anterior cingulate cortex, and right parietal cortex and increased putamen volume.

Overview. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious, long-lasting and complex mental health problem. People with BPD have difficulty regulating or handling their emotions or controlling their impulses.

Results: People with Borderline Personality Disorder have a reduced life expectancy of some 20 years, attributable largely to physical health maladies, notably cardiovascular.

People with BPD may feel a great deal of anger and may make heavy insults in a fit of rage to loved ones. Although it is unfair to listen and get hurt, arguing suggests that you believe the other person's anger is uncalled-for and this will lead to greater rage.

There's No Such Thing As a 'Little' Argument

It's normal for couples to fight. But when one person in a relationship has BPD, a simple argument can trigger an emotional downward spiral because people with BPD see it as evidence of abandonment or rejection. Partners often learn that the hard way, said Dr.

Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving and binge eating. Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting. Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days.

How does someone with borderline personality disorder think? ›

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

When stressed, people with borderline personality disorder may develop psychotic-like symptoms. They experience a distortion of their perceptions or beliefs rather than a distinct break with reality. Especially in close relationships, they tend to misinterpret or amplify what other people feel about them.

When stressed, people with borderline personality disorder may develop psychotic-like symptoms. They experience a distortion of their perceptions or beliefs rather than a distinct break with reality. Especially in close relationships, they tend to misinterpret or amplify what other people feel about them.

Five major treatments—DBT, mentalization-based treatment (MBT) [1], schema-focused therapy (SFT) [2], transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) [3], and systems training for emotional predictability and problem solving (STEPPS) [4]—have been established as evidence based treatments (EBTs) for BPD [5].

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

How do you fix BPD without medication? ›

People with BPD can benefit by being physically active, practicing self-care, keeping busy, and taking breaks. Dialectical behavioral therapy and group/individual therapy can help someone deal with BPD. Grounding exercises and having an emergency safety plan are recommendations to overcome BPD.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is often called the “gold standard” of borderline personality disorder treatment. It teaches you self-awareness, emotional regulation, and healthy relationship skills.

If you have BPD, the only real solution to this problem is to develop a strong, therapeutic relationship in psychotherapy. Psychotherapy will help you understand what is going on for you.