How to Support Someone Who Is In Denial of Their Diagnosis (2024)

It is very common for people to experience denial of diagnosis shortly after first receiving the news. Whether the illness is mental or physical, the mind may need some to adjust. You go through some shock, which includes denial, until you can settle in to the idea of what it all means.

However, denial can grow to become a big problem. People who continue to deny their illness are at risk of insufficient treatment and suffer many symptoms. Unfortunately, denial can be a common, recurring issue for some people with mental health struggles.

Their caregivers can become frustrated and overwhelmed. Understanding what the denial is all about is a good first step in figuring out how to cope with it.

How to Support Someone Who Is In Denial of Their Diagnosis (1)

What is Denial of Diagnosis

As the name suggests, denial of diagnosis basically means that an individual has received a credible diagnosis from one or more licensed health professionals but refuses to accept that diagnosis.

However, it’s important to understand that denial isn’t a willful act. It’s not as though the person is adamantly refusing to “face the facts” although it can feel that way to care providers. There are many factors that can come into play.

Anosognosia

Anosonosia is a medical term for a person who lacks the insight or awareness to understand their own condition. They’re in denial of illness because their brain isn’t currently or fully capable of understanding the illness. In many cases, the individual will see the truth of their own diagnosis at times while at other times experience denial.

Anosognosia is a particularly common form of denial for certain mental health diagnoses. NAMI reports that 50% of people with schizophrenia and 40% of people with a bipolar diagnosis experience this form of denial.

For people struggling with this, it’s as if they are looking in a mirror and they simply don’t see what others around them see. They have an entirely different perception of themselves. It is not a perception that includes illness.

Memory Problems

Anyone who struggles with memory problems may have problems understanding their own illness. Unfortunately, memory problems are a feature of many mental health issues. People with depression, for example, often face memory challenges.

In some cases, memory problems may get exacerbated by substance use issues. Prescribed meds can also impact memory. Whatever the cause, limited memory can make it hard to remember all that you need to in order to accept your illness.

Fear of Stigma and/ or Treatment

People have very legitimate reasons for not wanting to be labeled with a specific diagnosis. Stigma still runs thick in our society. Once you have the diagnosis, you may have to face the stigma.

Likewise, some patients have fears about treatment. Their fears may be based on misconceptions and assumptions or on their own experiences. Regardless, the fears feel real and valid.

If a person is unable to articulate a deep-seated fear of stigma and/or of treatment options then they may present as in denial of diagnosis.

A similar problem occurs when someone tries treatment for their diagnosis and it doesn’t work. They’re tempted to assume that the diagnosis itself was incorrect.

How to Support Someone Who Is In Denial of Their Diagnosis (2)

Can Denial of Diagnosis Be Harmful?

It’s really challenging when you love someone who is denial of their illness. You may even sometimes have coherent, clear conversations with them about their need for treatment only to find later that they’ve done a 180 and no longer agree.

When you see your loved one spiraling down into their harshest symptoms because of denial of diagnosis, you desperately want to help.

In most cases, a person’s denial of their issues can lead to a lower quality of life but doesn’t rise to the level of harm. However, in some cases, the denial can be truly harmful.

For example, if someone you love is suicidal or dangerously reckless when off of their medications, then denial can present a very real threat to life.

How to Support Someone Who Is In Denial of Their Diagnosis (3)

How You Can Help Your Loved One

First of all, remember that they aren’t trying to be difficult. The fact that they can’t accept their illness is itself a symptom of the illness. With that in mind, here are some things you can do to help:

  • Let them know that you are on their side. They probably feel very alone right now.
  • Listen. They don’t want to be told what to do right now. However, they do want to be heard. Be present.
  • Accept that you are powerlessness to convince them that they are ill. Focus on what must be done in the moment.
  • Encourage them to do things that help reduce symptoms. Do those things with them. Medication refusal is common but you can try meditation, exercise, enjoyable events, grounding activities, etc.
  • Get help if you believe that they are an immediate threat to themselves or others.

How a Therapist Can Help in Moving Beyond Denial

You might wonder how someone who doesn’t believe in their diagnosis even ends up in therapy. However, it happens all of the time.

First of all, a person might recognize that they are in distress even if they don’t agree that a mental health issue is the cause. For example, someone might come to therapy complaining about their spouse only to realize eventually that they’re dealing primarily with underlying depression.

Alternatively, people may end up in therapy due to court order or family intervention. Perhaps they don’t believe in the diagnosis, but they have shown up anyway. As long as they’re showing up, a therapist can help.

How to Support Someone Who Is In Denial of Their Diagnosis (4)

Therapy Can Be a Long Process

The most important thing that the therapist can do is to build up a positive, trusting relationship. This takes time, but it is critical. Once someone has trust in their therapist, they are much more likely to accept the truth of a diagnosis.

That said, there are some mental health conditions that may inhibit someone from accepting a diagnosis despite building a therapeutic relationship. Paranoid schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder are both conditions that cause frequent breaks in relationship trust. Therapy can take a long time.

However, therapists can do many things in the meantime to help their patients. For example, they can help:

  • Address issues bothering the individual
  • Develop coping skills
  • Feel heard and understood
  • Gain insight and self-awareness
  • Improve communication
  • Work on relationships

Therapists can help people move past denial of diagnosis. More importantly, though, they can help the patient improve their quality of life with or without diagnosis acceptance.

In need of support? We’re here to help.

How to Support Someone Who Is In Denial of Their Diagnosis (2024)

FAQs

How do you talk to someone who is in denial? ›

How to talk to someone in denial
  1. Choose the best possible time and place to talk. ...
  2. Involve other people. ...
  3. Go into the conversation expecting denial and anger. ...
  4. Keep your emotions in check. ...
  5. Plan out potential responses ahead of time. ...
  6. Use 'I' statements instead of 'you' statements. ...
  7. Practice active listening.
Dec 11, 2022

How do you respond to someone who is struggling mentally? ›

What to say to someone with a mental illness
  1. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm always here for you." ...
  2. "What can I do to help?" ...
  3. "That sounds really difficult. ...
  4. 4. " ...
  5. "I'm really sorry you're going through this. ...
  6. "Are you looking for my perspective or would you rather I listen?"
Nov 14, 2019

How can you best support someone who is struggling with his or her mental health? ›

There are some general strategies that you can use to help:
  • Listen without making judgements and concentrate on their needs at that moment.
  • Ask them what would help them.
  • Reassure and signpost to practical information or resources.
  • Avoid confrontation.
  • Ask if there is someone they would like you to contact.

Which is the most appropriate way to overcome denial? ›

Denial can be tricky and scary but overcoming it can be as simple as surrounding yourself with trustworthy, supportive people and opening up. Living an honest life and dealing with your emotions head-on is a path to successful, sustained recovery.

How do you comfort someone with health problems? ›

It will be deeply appreciated.
  • Step 1: Listen. When you hear of someone struggling with an illness, reach out. ...
  • Step 2: Listen Some More. Next, you need to ask if they want talk about their illness. ...
  • Step 3: Be Helpful. ...
  • Step 4: Be Uplifting. ...
  • Step 5: Stick Around.
Jan 8, 2020

What are the 4 types of denial? ›

To summarize, denial of fact says that the offense in question never happened, denial of impact trivializes the consequences of the inappropriate behavior, denial of responsibility attempts to justify or excuse the behavior, and denial of hope shows that the person is unwilling to take active steps to make things ...

What are the three types of denial? ›

According to Cohen (2001), there are three states of denial: literal (sheer refusal to accept evidence), interpretative (denial based on the interpretation of evidence) and implicatory (denial based on the change/response that acceptance would necessitate).

When someone is in denial about mental illness? ›

When we talk about anosognosia in mental illness, we mean that someone is unaware of their own mental health condition or that they can't perceive their condition accurately. Anosognosia is a common symptom of certain mental illnesses, perhaps the most difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it.

What not to say to someone who's struggling? ›

13 things you shouldn't say to someone who is struggling with their mental health – Article
  • 'But you're so rich, famous, successful…' ...
  • 'I went through the same thing when I…' ...
  • 'You're just looking for attention. ...
  • 'Just exercise. ...
  • 'When the pain is gone, everything will be great. ...
  • 'Am I not enough for you? ...
  • 'Suck it up.
Jun 29, 2018

How do you empathize a mentally ill person? ›

Empathy can also benefit your own wellbeing.
...
Use these tips from the MHFA curriculum and other resources to help you practice empathy when supporting those around you.
  1. Listen nonjudgmentally. ...
  2. Stay present. ...
  3. Remove any barriers. ...
  4. Concentrate on their needs. ...
  5. Focus on their feelings. ...
  6. Validate their experience and feelings.
Aug 23, 2021

What to say to support someone struggling? ›

What to say:
  • I'm here with you.
  • There's not a right or wrong way to respond.
  • You don't have to have it all figured out.
  • I am here to help in whatever way is most helpful (and it's okay if you don't know what that is yet).
  • It's okay to be scared.
Mar 14, 2022

How do you encourage someone who is struggling? ›

Five ways you can help someone struggling
  1. Don't force them to talk. Although it's amazing to make yourself available to listen to someone who is struggling, be aware that they might not want to talk about it all the time. ...
  2. Keep inviting them. ...
  3. Send things that remind you of them. ...
  4. Ask them what they want to do. ...
  5. Offer hugs.
Sep 28, 2018

How do you help someone who thinks they can't be helped? ›

But you can still be there for your friend; you might just need to take a different approach to the way you're supporting them.
  1. Be available. Continue to be supportive. ...
  2. Offer help. ...
  3. Become informed. ...
  4. Talk to someone yourself. ...
  5. Set boundaries. ...
  6. Don't force the issue or put pressure on them. ...
  7. Don't avoid them.

What do you say to someone who is struggling with illness? ›

Words to wish someone a speedy recovery

Hoping you feel better every day. Warmest wishes for a speedy recovery. Thinking of you, and sending healing thoughts. You're such a strong person, and I've always admired your courage and strength.

How do you provide comfort and support? ›

Here are nine ways to help a family member, friend, or anyone in need of some comfort:
  1. Share a Meal.
  2. Give Practical, Yet Thoughtful Gifts. ...
  3. Help Around the House.
  4. If It's the Holiday Season, Find a Way to Make It Special. ...
  5. Lend a Listening Ear. ...
  6. Sometimes a Hug Is All You Need.
  7. Make a Journal. ...
  8. Find Comfort in Community.
Sep 13, 2019

What is the most common reason for denial? ›

Patient not eligible.

As mentioned above, this is the #1 cause of denials. The patient is not eligible for care delivered by the insurance plan. This is simple to solve by doing eligibility checks up front, before a patient is even seen.

What emotions are associated with denial? ›

Anxiety, fear, and insecurity can all provoke denial. As a natural human instinct, people try to protect their emotional security. Sometimes, when an event threatens people or scares them, these emotions can be shoved to the side as a coping mechanism.

What is the psychology behind denial? ›

Denial is the conscious refusal to perceive that painful facts exist. In denying latent feelings of hom*osexuality or hostility, or mental defects in one's child, an individual can escape intolerable thoughts, feelings, or events. 7.

What is it called when someone denies everything? ›

de·​ni·​al·​ist di-ˈnī(-ə)l-ist. dē- plural denialists. : a person who denies the existence, truth, or validity of something despite proof or strong evidence that it is real, true, or valid : someone who practices denialism.

What type of coping is denial? ›

Denial is a natural psychological coping mechanism, and it's completely normal, especially in times of great stress or trauma. While denial gets a bad rap, it can actually be helpful in small doses, as it serves to protect us in the initial stages of shock after overwhelming trauma, loss, or fear.

What are the two main reasons for denial claims? ›

Common Reasons for Claim Denials
  • Technicalities: missing codes or authorizations, claim filing mistakes.
  • Medical: treatment not considered a medical necessity or is considered experimental/investigational.

Why do people deny they are mentally ill? ›

Major reasons for denial are narcissistic injury and denialism. In denialism, a person tries to deny psychologically uncomfortable truth and tries to rationalize it. This urge for denialism is fueled further by narcissistic injury.

How do you get a mental help for someone who doesn t want it? ›

Fortunately, there are several ways of getting mental help for someone who doesn't want it without forcing or cornering them.
  1. Listen and Validate Their Feelings. ...
  2. Ask Questions. ...
  3. Resist the Urge to Fix or Give Advice. ...
  4. Explore Options Together. ...
  5. Find Support for Yourself.
May 31, 2022

How do you address denial therapy? ›

Treating Denial
  1. Think about why you are afraid to face the problem.
  2. Consider the consequences of not dealing with the problem.
  3. Try talking to a close friend or loved one who may be able to offer some honest, more objective perspective.
Dec 8, 2022

What do you say to someone who has declining health? ›

Exclusive Content
  • 1) I wish I knew what to say, but I care and I'm here for you. ...
  • 2) I believe you. ...
  • 3) Can I bring you food? ...
  • 4) I know how hard you're trying. ...
  • 5) Don't feel bad if you have to cancel plans at the last minute, I understand. ...
  • 6) You look so good, but how are you really feeling?

How do you help someone who won't accept help? ›

But you can still be there for your friend; you might just need to take a different approach to the way you're supporting them.
  1. Be available. Continue to be supportive. ...
  2. Offer help. ...
  3. Become informed. ...
  4. Talk to someone yourself. ...
  5. Set boundaries. ...
  6. Don't force the issue or put pressure on them. ...
  7. Don't avoid them.

When someone is in denial about their mental illness? ›

When we talk about anosognosia in mental illness, we mean that someone is unaware of their own mental health condition or that they can't perceive their condition accurately. Anosognosia is a common symptom of certain mental illnesses, perhaps the most difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it.

What to do if someone needs medical help but refuses? ›

What to Do if Your Loved One Refuses to See a Doctor
  1. Be transparent and direct. ...
  2. Convince them that it's their idea. ...
  3. Make it a "double-checkup" ...
  4. Make the rest of the day as enjoyable as possible. ...
  5. Get someone who is an authority figure to help.
Sep 23, 2015

How do you message someone who is not well? ›

Short Get Well Messages
  1. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
  2. Feel better soon!
  3. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
  4. You're in my thoughts.
  5. Take extra good care of yourself.
  6. I miss having you around.
  7. You'll be feeling healthy and strong again soon!
  8. Praying for an easy recovery.
Jul 21, 2022

What do you say to someone waiting for medical results? ›

This should be your friend's time to talk about what he or she needs to talk about. It is tempting to say, "You will be fine," but you both know that you can't make that guarantee. Instead, a more helpful thing to say would be something like "I'll be here for you, no matter what the test results reveal."

What to write in a card for someone with a serious illness? ›

Examples
  1. “Hope you get to feeling better soon!”
  2. “Looking forward to seeing you back at practice when you're ready.”
  3. “Wishing you well.”
  4. “Take extra good care!”
  5. “Here's to you—steadier, stronger and better every day.”
  6. “We hope you're taking it slow and easy right now.”
  7. “Take your sweet time getting well!”
Aug 30, 2018

How do you give emotional support? ›

How to Emotionally Support Someone
  1. Ask for what they need. Many researchers recommend asking your partner, or your friends, what type of support they would like to receive. ...
  2. Connect and listen. ...
  3. Ask questions. ...
  4. Validate. ...
  5. Offer physical affection. ...
  6. Give compliments. ...
  7. Keep the focus on the receiver. ...
  8. Check-in after.

What to say to someone who doesn't want to be helped? ›

Listen and validate

Ask them what's going on and just reflect what they say. Help them feel heard. You can ask, “how are you doing?” and say “yeah, that sounds hard or that sounds great.” People have a hard time taking action unless we feel heard and understood.

How do you help a friend going through a difficult time? ›

Listen with compassion

find a suitable time and place to talk to them. ask questions about their experience. respond to their situation with compassion, (try to keep a friendly, neutral expression – pulling very “sympathetic” faces can actually make it harder for some people to talk about how they're feeling)

What should you not say to someone with mental health issues? ›

10 things not to say to someone with a mental illness
  1. “It's all in your head.” ...
  2. “Come on, things could be worse!” ...
  3. “Snap out of it!” ...
  4. “But you have a great life, you always seem so happy!” ...
  5. “Have you tried chamomile tea?” ...
  6. “Everyone is a little down/moody/OCD sometimes – it's normal.” ...
  7. “This too shall pass.”

How would you advise a patient who was unable to afford treatment? ›

10 Ways to Help Patients When They Can't Afford Care
  1. Have the Money Conversation. ...
  2. Be Empathetic to Patient Concerns. ...
  3. Get Creative on Your Scheduling. ...
  4. Offer a Payment Plan. ...
  5. Create a Sliding Fee Scale. ...
  6. Accept What They Can Offer. ...
  7. See Them Pro Bono. ...
  8. Refer Them or Help Them Find Assistance.
Aug 23, 2017

How would respond to a patient who refuses treatment? ›

Understand their story Try to understand the patient/family's story before you try to change their mind. This means suspending your attitude toward their decision and as openly and non-judgmentally as possible, understanding the reasons for their decision.

What do you do when a mentally ill person won't take medicine? ›

Set clear expectations and discuss the possible outcomes of both accepting or not accepting treatment. Some mental health professionals believe a related condition, anosognosia, or a person's inability to recognize their own mental illness contributes to an unwillingness to take medication or participate in treatment.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Stevie Stamm

Last Updated:

Views: 6010

Rating: 5 / 5 (80 voted)

Reviews: 95% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Stevie Stamm

Birthday: 1996-06-22

Address: Apt. 419 4200 Sipes Estate, East Delmerview, WY 05617

Phone: +342332224300

Job: Future Advertising Analyst

Hobby: Leather crafting, Puzzles, Leather crafting, scrapbook, Urban exploration, Cabaret, Skateboarding

Introduction: My name is Stevie Stamm, I am a colorful, sparkling, splendid, vast, open, hilarious, tender person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.